Palawoo after the fire
They are some of the most beautiful photos I’ve even taken,
but when I see them, my heart shatters like glass windows in a fire
from February 8 -
Here were my clothes, records, camera bag, all my paintings, photos and prints by artist friends, here were my inexpensive but irreplaceable trinkets from around the world, film negatives and journals and creative tools and love letters and heirlooms and photos and little fragments of my soul outside of me -
I guess I thought I’d find a trace of them, but anything that was left in that room was completely covered by roof shingles and other people’s remnants of home - there were three apartments upstairs and the ceiling caved in so - anything we had now shares the same resting place in a pile of roofing, melted glass, metal sludge, bits of tile, stone and ash. The whole neighborhood is kind of like that now - we all share the same pile of rubble - our individual homes and belongings became unrecognizable identical ash and debris, sharing the same pile of rubble and floating on the same gusts of wind
But I can’t stop thinking about the landlord’s library
Tucked in a thin hallway and the only part of the home that still had a semblance of a post-fire roof coverage, this one little sliver of debris strangely preserved from wind and recent rain -
I never saw it in waking life (wow - I just wrote this automatically and realized what I implied - “waking life” as if this is a dream)
Anyway, I never saw the library before the fire, that’s what I meant -
But now without the walls separating our apartments I went inside… there isn’t much left to determine that it’s a library except book-shaped ash piles with crisp edges of pages and even some words still legible - it’s all so surreal - I reached out to touch and turn a page and it dissipated into a puff of air - disappeared before my eyes - earth to fire to air and gone on the wind
(continued)
the library
these are/were books
library hall - the arch to the right used to be solid redwood. my bedframe is in the corner
vault?!
opposite the library
Palawoo was really my dream* house -
The iron work, the archways, the hand-painted tile, hand-carved stone, the fireplaces, the European esque religious iconography built into the sacral architecture, the stone statues, the fountains…
I’d seen a lot of the house but never the full thing - that place is WILD - hidden hallways through hand-carved stone archways - Grecian style interior fountain - the Madonna and Child stone sculpture piece is on a vault (?) door (I tried to move/open it but it’s stuck likely from rubble falling behind it).
There are secret rooms even behind my apartment that I didn’t know existed.
And also of course - the land, the view, the altitude, the (formerly) clean air.
*I’ve had dozens like this… it’s a common dream theme - dreaming of a place or home you know well, but suddenly you find a new passageway, a doorway to a few room or another level or a secret room - have you had this kind of dream? Exploring Palawoo was like this… I thought I knew the layout but it is just not as it seems…. “dream” house in many senses…
(continued)
Maybe the strangest thing was leaving
Just few blocks south I’m heading back to the highway - life goes on - someone posts a garage sale sign on a street corner, the taco stand is setting up, a man tries to sell me a bouquet of flowers while I’m stopped at a red light (did he see me crying?)
Life goes on
I take off the hazmat suit respirator goggles ear plugs gloves and boot covers and
re emerge into Los Angeles and
Life goes on
I place my few relics of this former home in a friend’s garden to clean them from the ash and
Life goes on
I look at these photos I took and think WOW it’s never looked so beautiful - and I cry - and yep -
Life goes on.
I recently learned that the “blessing” comes from old English word that originally meant “bleeding”
Some days when all I can feel is the wound, all I can smell is the blood - I try to find the blessing in it all.
my heart is here
x
ALTADENA
Remembering beautiful Palawoo, Altadena - gone in the Eaton Fire
I lost my sanctuary, my home, in the Eaton fire. Palawoo, Altadena. The Canon Cottage. A serene retreat for dreaming. 47 acres of nature, mostly untouched save for black bears, bobcats and so many deer (my friends and frequent visitors). Whenever I would tell people where I lived, I would say, well, Los Angeles, but not really. I live in Heaven.
About a week before the fire a neighbor let me borrow this binder of old photographs, newspaper clippings, and poetry, all about the property. This place has been so loved long before my time. It has (had) a soul.
My home (a small studio on the bottom floor of the original main house) was built by outdoor lighting pioneer, stage magician, “the mystifier” and “magician of light” F.B. Nightingale in the 1920s. The property was built with quirks like hidden rooms, koi ponds and waterfalls, arched doors, carved stone statues and outdoor lighting elements that blend with the natural beauty of the Altadena foothills.
The property was later inhabited by rouge astronomer and “Big Bang Heretic”, a performance artist whose most iconic “art project” was when she ran for president of the US in 1984 - rad, and many more eccentrics. It feels (ouch - felt, rather) like another world from LA, with special creative and magical energy circling around.
Nightingale would light up the star on top of the hill in the month of December and on holidays. My current (former, rather) landlord (angel) kept up the tradition. It was like a beacon home. I could see it from the 134 and when I’d be driving home alone late at night I would squeal, that’s my house! How lucky am I! Palawoo!
I am so lucky to have lived here at all, so lucky to be alive. My heart is with the foothills, the wildlife and neighbors who lost everything.
MY HEART IS WITH LA, THIS IS NOT OVER, fires continue without enough resources to fight them.
I pray for positive regeneration
I believe community will come together to heal
We are a city of storytellers and we will create change out of the chaos
Thank you to firefighters, first responders and everyone offering help here and afar
I believe in us
Love one another
If you have any images of, information about, or memories of Palawoo, please get in touch - I am trying to gather and preserve as much as I can about this beautiful, historic, soulful place. A gem to be forever remembered. Please email daniela@danieladawson.com - thank you.
ILUKA - “WINGS” Visualizer
ILUKA - Wings visualizer video by Daniela Dawson - Los Angeles
Video project ~ visualizer for ILUKA “Wings”
Iluka Music Video BTS
Joshua Tree and Los Angeles, CA - behind the scenes at Iluka’s CRY EVIL music video shoot.
Eyeflood Music Video BTS
Behind the scenes still photography on Eyeflood music video shoot. Los Angeles
2 8 2024 Los Angeles
BTS stills
Directed by Kate Zamudio & Phoenix Losavio Production House - Ambience LA Executive Producer - Downy Jung Producer - Minye Cho 1st AD - Sebastian Mullen Production Assistant - Matthew Halla Director of Photography - Nikita Rogov 1st AC - Violetta Petruseva 2nd AC Сhristiana - Simon Gaffer - Dainel Tansley Key Grip - Dave Flores Art Director - Kayla Parlante Prop Master - Griffin Ziemba SFX - Vadia Mikelenaite, Arax Sargsyan Stylist - Phoenix Losavio, Vardi Murad Hair - Nevada Raffaele, Justine Petrucci Makeup - Jessica Vergon Models - Christopher Paul Pinellas, Zyren Go, Starr Livingston, LJ Post Producer - David Hachuns Editor - Phoenix Losavio, Kate Zamudio, VFX - Matt McCarty Color - John O’Riordan
Upstate autumn
Immersed in the mystical vibes of a VERY non-traditional bachelorette party in Upstate New York this fall on behalf of my unofficial sister Alex... surrounded by the dying, colorful leaves and autumn scenery, we celebrated with a witchy bridal blessing during a Halloween women's circle, adding a touch of magic and spirit to the festivities, making it a truly enchanting celebration while the veil is at its thinnest…
Immersed in the mystical vibes of a VERY non-traditional bachelorette party in Upstate New York this fall on behalf of my unofficial sister Alex... surrounded by the dying, colorful leaves and autumn scenery, we celebrated with a witchy bridal blessing during a Halloween women's circle, adding a touch of magic and spirit to the festivities, making it a truly enchanting celebration while the veil is at its thinnest…
Land + Sky
Astrologer branding photo shoot, astrology and tea house photography
Atmosphere + branding images for my friends at Nam Sen Studio
Astrology + tea, land + sky
Bisbee, Arizona
